I've often been mistaken for Meryl Streep, although never on Oscar night.
Whether it's Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde, they're brilliant with genius bon mots. Of course, I find them extraordinary.
For any of you who don't know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker, and more easily bought.
Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
The Golden Thumb is not as good as the Oscar, but it is a lot of fun.
Oscar Peterson plays the best ivory box I've ever heard.
I guess I really haven't thought much about winning an Oscar, but if I had the opportunity, I'm sure I would like it.
You know what Oscar Wilde said, ma'am? He said, "nothing that is worth knowing can be taught". Nothing personal, ma'am. . . Carry on.
My ginger tabby cat Oscar - he's got his own passport - he comes everywhere with me.
When I'm introduced as a two-time Oscar winner, I'm happy that a film of mine has found an audience and some acclaim because that keeps me in business. A filmmaker's greatest concern is the ability to make future films, so it helps keep me in business.
Oscar Wilde said that sunsets were not valued because we could not pay for sunsets. But Oscar Wilde was wrong; we can pay for sunsets. We can pay for them by not being Oscar Wilde.
I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.
They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don't get paid a lot because they're working on the Oscars show. It's the biggest show in the world.
Getting the Oscar had the biggest impression on me.
When I think about the idea of Rebel Wilson having to go to the Oscars and not having something amazing to wear that's made for her, it drives me mad.
The foreign-language Oscar is something that doesn't go to the producer or the director; it goes to the country.
I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
The truth is I don't see a lot of movies. I see the Oscar films. I see the films that are sent to me and a few films throughout the year.
Also everyone's hearts are in the right place when you do a small movie. You're not doing it for the money; you're not doing it for the possibility of an Oscar nomination. You are doing it because you love the material.
I never liked the Oscars. They didn't do too much for me at all. I felt like a big, vulnerable hunk of baloney being used to sell some products.