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How can he remember well his ignorance - which his growth requires - who has so often to use his knowledge?

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David Cross

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes. . . you have to decide, immediately, you have to go "Ohmigod. Do I look at the most beautiful woman in the world or the craziest guy in the world?"

Beautiful, Decide, Funny, Look, New York, York
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Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then edited, then rewritten, then given to kings for them to take their favorite parts, then rewritten, then re-rewritten, then translated again, then given to the pope for him to approve, then rewritten, then edited again, the re-re-re-re-rewritten again. . . all based on stories that were told orally 30 to 90 years AFTER they happened. . to people who didnt know how to write. . . so. . .

Back, Bible, Kings, Writing, Written, Years

I like pot, I enjoy pot, I like to smoke it. But, the one thing I don't like about pot is the subculture it's spawned. I think it's embarrassing and really juvenile and uncreative

Embarrassing, Smoking, Subculture, Think, Thinking, Weed

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Having, Jealousy, Like, Peace, War, Winning

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

Book, Firsts, Pages, Read, Six

I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's. " Also, Antwerp was my smallest audience, so the guy was right there. I was like, "What?" He said, "Dave Attell does a bit about, 'Why are there luggage stores in the airport?'" I had never seen that, and I would never ever, ever, ever - please believe me - I would never lift material from somebody ever, and certainly not knowingly.

Airports, Believe, Guy, Lift, Right, Seen
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