Find the thing you love, and do it with all your heart, to the absolute best of your ability, no matter what people say.
Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball.
People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.
My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?
But the universe isn't fair. Things don't work out neatly, pain, hardship and challenges divided equally among those best equipped to deal with them. Sometimes individuals have to be Atlases and carry the weight of the world alone. It shouldn't happen that way, but it does.
Do you think it's so snobbish, to want to see something besides one's fellow citizens abroad?
Form follows finances instead of function.
It's the good loser who finally loses out.