You're some special kind of hostage, that's for sure. Maybe, well, do you think my purpose in life is to give myself up to the police? Do you think God wants me to spend the rest of my life paying for my sins?
As you travel around medieval England you will come across a sport described by some contemporaries as 'abominable. . . more common, undignified and worthless than any other game, rarely ending but with some loss, accident or disadvantage to the players themselves'. This is football.