The only way to understand the difficult parts of the Bible is first to read and obey the easy ones.
This is The Tonight Show. I can't tell you too much about it, other than the fact that this program is going to go on forever.
One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.
Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.
Thousands of years ago only Christ could walk on the water. Today anybody can do it; you just step on the garbage.
Without laughter life on our planet would be intolerable. So important is laughter to us that humanity highly rewards members of one of the most unusual professions on earth, those who make a living by inducing laughter in others. This is very strange if you stop to think of it: that otherwise sane and responsible citizens should devote their professional energies to causing others to make sharp, explosive barking-like exhalations.
In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.
I really hope that when someone puts my record on that they hear me.
It is not true that sex degrades women. . . if it is any good.
The medieval Church believed that the resurrection of Christ marked a new time for all of humanity.
It is because I believe that it is in the power of such nations to lead the world back into the paths of peace that I propose to devote myself to explaining what, in my opinion, can and should be done to banish the fear of war that hangs so heavily over the world.