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I have always loved American poetry, which is very different from Irish poetry.

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Dave Allen

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

Cargo, Funny, Hilarious, Ship, Shipment, Ships
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We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.

Clock, Giving, Running, Sleep, Work

A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way.

Facts, Good, Lets, Storyteller, Way

Goodnight, thank you, and may your god go with you.

God, Goodnight, Humour, May, Thank

My church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, twenties.

Accepts, Church, Cynical, Denominations, Twenties

Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.

Comedian, Finger, Fingers, Half, Nine
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