I was never top of the class at school, but my classmates must have seen potential in me, because my nickname was Einstein.
I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
Twitter! Never have lives been less lived and more chronicled!
And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
When I was a producer, the fun of the show was waking up with a hit and enjoying the period after the show opens. The fun of a director stops the day it opens. No matter if it's a success or a failure, it's not a whole lot of fun anymore.
Look, only in Washington is not raising taxes considered a tax cut. Nobody's getting a tax cut here. We're not cutting taxes. We're preventing tax increases from occurring.
I have the consolation of having added nothing to my private fortune during my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty.
I don't want to think that the stories are finite; I want to feel that they can go on forever.