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They who truly come to God for mercy, come as beggars, and not as creditors: they come for mere mercy, for sovereign grace, and not for anything that is due

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Nick Kroll

I would be psyched to get a phone call from Al Sharpton. I need to find out who does his hair. It's beautiful. It's a gorgeous mane.

Beautiful, Hair, Phone, Phones, Sharpton
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As long as it's not an easy, outdated stereotype and it comes from an interesting or emotionally driven place, then anyone can be made fun of.

Easy, Emotionally, Fun, Interesting, Long, Place

The immediacy of public interaction is just unbeatable.

Immediacy, Interaction, Public, Unbeatable

This is a perfect example of the power and ridiculousness of a website like Wikipedia. I did give a slightly contentious graduation speech, where I decided not to be funny as my classmates had hoped, which was why I was chosen. I was not valedictorian, that's for sure. Instead, I talked about the failure to communicate between the administration and the teachers and students. That's what was contentious about it. At some point, somebody wrote about that incident on my Wikipedia page. And then somebody added the bit about me exposing my genitals to the crowd.

Communicate, Example, Funny, Giving, Perfect, Teacher

I guess there should be somewhere on the Internet that feels like a source of sacred truth. But Wikipedia sure isn't it.

Internet, Sacred, Source, Truth, Wikipedia

Go ahead and make up a ton of lies about me. That's way more interesting than pretending Wikipedia has any real information.

Ahead, Interesting, Lying, Pretending, Real, Wikipedia
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