In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.
It is perfectly right for a gentleman to say "ladies and gentlemen," but a lady should say, "gentlemen and ladies. " You mention your friend's name before you do your own. I always feel like rebuking any woman who says, "ladies and gentlemen. " It is a lack of good manners.