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I certainly had no feeling for harmony, and Schoenberg thought that that would make it impossible for me to write music. He said, 'You'll come to a wall you won't be able to get through. ' So I said, 'I'll beat my head against that wall. '

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Jim Bouton

Opening day -- or Opening Day. Depending on how you feel about it.

Day, Depending, How You Feel, Opening, Opening Day
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You spend a good deal of your life gripping a baseball, and it turns out it was the other way around all the time.

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Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Baseball, Field, Men, Penalized, Sports, Teamwork

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it.

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Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had been out with and said, “It's hard to say exactly what she looked like. She was kind of Joe Torre with tits. ” This joke can only be explained with a picture of Joe Torre. But I'm not sure any exist. He dissolves camera lenses.

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For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

Hundred, Player, Players, Screwed, Years
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