Sir, you shall taste my Anno Domini.
Anybody who notices unpleasant facts in the have-a-nice-day world we live in is going to be designated a curmudgeon.
The past is not the present: pretending it is corrupts art and thus both rots the mind and shrivels the imagination and conscience.
Most people who seek attention and regard by announcing that they're writing a novel are actually so devoid of narrative talent that they can't hold the attention of a dinner table for thirty seconds, even with a dirty joke.
The wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time.
The more violent the body contact of the sports you watch, the lower the class.
And the ideal travel writer is consumed not just with a will to know. He is also moved by a powerful will to teach.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
It's a special club. It's got history. When I slip on the Manchester United shirt, it's like I'm wearing its past. So you have to sacrifice yourself for this club.
Paint me as I am. If you leave out the scars and wrinkles, I will not pay you a shilling.
Avoid dishonest gain: no price can recompence the pangs of vice.