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You are not an alcoholic or an addict. You are not incurably diseased. You have merely become dependent on substances or addictive behavior to cope with underlying conditions that you are now going to heal, at which time your dependency will cease completely and forever.

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Ron White

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.

Brands, Cigar, Cigars, Locked, Million
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Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.

Baseball, Commitment, Rangers, Simple

I had the right to remain silent. . . but I didn't have the ability.

Funny Life, Silent, Funny Bumper Sticker, Right, Remain

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. . . And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Inspirational, Funny, Party, Somebody, Lemons, Given

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

Stupid, Class, Pills, Take, Pill

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

Dad, Houston, Old, Take, Years
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