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Award shows are really silly. I'm very happy for the people that win the awards, and I can say they're really silly, but I would love to get one. So I also know wasting time on that is pointless.

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Amy Sedaris

I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.

Book, Cop, Crime, Play, Shows, Thrillers
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Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Girlfriend, Piece, Real, Women

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

Pet, Losing, Sometimes, Love, Case

I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

Cried, Feet, Hard, Men, Shoes

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

Being Alone, Figure, Gives, Opportunity, Person, Thinking

It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.

Broken, Desires, Fire, Prison Time, Relationships, Suppress
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