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Someone with whom we have a lifetime's worth of lessons to learn is someone whose presence in our lives forces us to grow. . . those who consciously or unconsciously challenge our fearful positions. They show us our walls. Our walls are our wounds--the places where we feel we can't love any more, can't connect any more deeply, can't forgive past a certain point. We are in each other's lives in order to help us see where we most need healing, and in order to help us heal.

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Stephen Colbert

Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?