I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
I like being absurd. Being silly.
. . . Being a father is the most exciting, amazing thing that ever happened to me.
Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.
I didn't think it was going to be this fun. But everything just gets heightened when you have a baby. The volume gets turned up on life. I never knew I could be this happy, and that's the truth.
Thank you hard taco shells for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.
According to a new report, since he's been governor, Chris Christie has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Now, I know it seems like the perfect story for a Chris Christie joke but I'm actually on a Chris Christie joke diet. So nothing for me, thanks.
Rhyannon Byrd has a gift for beautiful, sensual storytelling.
Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.
If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing.
I haven't got a lot of patience.