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Were I to sum up the Basle Congress in a word- which I shall guard against pronouncing publicly- it would be this: 'At Basle, I founded the Jewish State. If I said this out loud today, I would be answered by universal laughter. If not in 5 years, certainly in 50, everyone will know it. '

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Zach Braff

It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.

Cute, Fight, Fighting, Hard
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I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

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I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

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First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.

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The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

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I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.

Instead, Mean, Nothing, Sorry, Thinking
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