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There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long; and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand him quite that long.

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Ryan Reynolds

Even if my father wasn't speaking to me, he would never, ever miss a baseball game.

Baseball, Father, Games, Miss, Speaking
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Laughing can serve you in dark moments and even help you crawl your way back out.

Dark, Help, Laughing, Moments, Serve, Way

I don't expect success. I prepare for it.

Expect, Prepare, Success

The ‘friend zone’ is like the penalty box of dating, only you can never get out. Once a girl decides you’re her ‘friend,’ it’s game over. You’ve become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.

Box, Brother, Dating, Eye, Girl, Lamp

I finally had my prostate checked. And I was super-thankful that I taught my asshole to whistle before the doctor stuck his finger in there. The look on his face was priceless.

Doctors, Faces, Finger, Looks, Prostate, Taught

When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Disappointment, Expectations, Setting, Settings
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