Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons. - Dave Barry

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I heard some interesting things about your performance up here. " "I hear interesting things about your 'performance' all the time Doug, but you don't hear me making jokes about it.

Dave Barry

Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.

Beat, Beats, Bush, Dog, Dogs, Moron

Same Author Quotes

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Ark, Education, Lone, Professionals, Trying

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.

Couple, Glass, Humorous, Question, Saw, Teacher

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

120, Animal, Cow, Fastest, Mph, Science

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Actual, Children, Inspirational, Parent, Perfect, Perfect Parents

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

Brain, Chocolate, Hands, Mouth, Years, Yummy

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Lucille Ball

Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste.

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I wanna take it deeper than money, pussy, vacation and influence a generation that's lacking in patience

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Barbra Streisand

A large part of me is pure nebbish - plain, dull, uninteresting. There's a more flamboyant part, too. Obviously.

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Richelle Mead

I heard some interesting things about your performance up here. " "I hear interesting things about your 'performance' all the time Doug, but you don't hear me making jokes about it.

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Bernhard Langer

People who are friends with me and who know me, know a side of me that is totally not cold.

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