I am a very shy person who is just close to himself. So I would refrain from talking about my personal life.
What is creative is the seeking of perfection - and not attaining it.
As soon as your brain starts telling you that you can't have a tree that is blue then you stop being able to paint trees.
The reaction was immediate. The blood flow was in proportion to how much the painting was liked.
I view all art as an effort to translate brain concepts into a work. These brain concepts are synthetic ones - the result of many experiences. But a single work of art, or even a series of works, more often than not cannot translate these synthetic concepts adequately. Yves Saint Laurent once said that he suffered greatly when creating. He is not alone in that. Most artists do the same and say as much.
I gather that the dopaminergic system in the reward centres of the brain respond even more vigorously to the expectation of reward than to reward itself. Hence, perhaps, the disappointment.
Most artists, or at least most of the ones I know, deny having a philosophical outlook that they try to translate into their works. Some had thought of the work of Cezanne and others as being a 'painted epistemology. ' But Cezanne himself denied this and Daniel-Henri Kahnwiler, the art critic and art dealer, insisted that none of the many painters he had known had a philosophical culture.
I try to find the beauty in things. On dark days, I sit in my armchair looking at clouds and I am awed at how rain is made.
Alas! I have nor hope nor health, Nor peace within nor calm around, Nor that content surpassing wealth The sage in meditation found.
The real price of everything, what everything really costs to the man who wants to acquire it, is the toil and trouble of acquiring it.
And we danced, on the brink of an unknown future, to an echo from a vanished past.