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Psychotherapy -- A long, drawn out process consisting of subtle probings of the human mind, whereby women are blamed for all of Freud's shortcomings.

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Steve Almond

We need books. . . because we are all, in the private kingdoms of our hearts, desperate for the company of a wise, true friend.

Book, Desperate, Hearts, True, True Friend, Wise
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All readers come to fiction as willing accomplices to your lies. Such is the basic goodwill contract made the moment we pick up a work of fiction.

Accomplices, Come, Lying, Readers, Reading, Writing

Something is funny, most of all, because it's true, and because the velocity of insight into this truth exceeds our normal standards. Something is funny because it's outside our accepted boundary of decorum. Something is funny because it defies our expectations. Something is funny because it offers a temporary reprieve from the hardship of seeing the world as it actually is. Something is funny because it is able to suggest gently that even the worst of our circumstances and sins is subject to eventual mercy.

Able, Expectations, Gently, Normal, Standards

The truth is, every sport has been turned into a huge, nihilistic business.

Has Beens, Huge, Nihilistic, Sports, Truth, Truth Is

At the end of night, before you close your eyes, be content with what you've done and be proud of who you are.

Close, Done, Eye, Night, Proud

Every now and then, I'll run into someone who claims not to like chocolate, and while we live in a country where everyone has the right to eat what they want, I want to say for the record that I don't trust these people, that I think something is wrong with them, and that they're probably - and this must be said - total duds in bed.

Country, Record, Running, Thinking, Trust
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