You'll laugh at the comedy of errors that is my life.
Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.
There are only two seasons - winter and Baseball.
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
If there is any justice in this world, to be a White Sox fan frees a man from any other form of penance.
I try not to break the rules, but merely to test their elasticity.
I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.
Youth is a mortal wound.
You're a victim from my drive-by of thoughts.
Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears.
It's partly the Southernization of America, in that the Southern working-class version of redneck is becoming the national version, and it's good-natured, it has humor and, in some ways, it's a performance.