Make every detail perfect and limit the number of details to perfect.
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator. . . Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
So the only environment the artist needs is whatever peace, whatever solitude, and whatever pleasure he can get at not too high a cost. All the wrong environment will do is run his blood pressure up; he will spend more time being frustrated or outraged. My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey.
And I've been hurt hurt bad. I might be just twenty-six, but I'm an old woman in disguise twenty-six goin'on sixty-five.
Every romance does not lead to sex.
I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.