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Will Cuppy Biography

William Jacob "Will" Cuppy (August 23, 1884 – September 19, 1949) was an American humorist and literary critic, known for his satirical books about nature and historical figures.

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Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.

Furniture, Islands, People, Raft, Thinking, Took

A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.

Clear, Cobras, Home, Rats

As Darwin puts it in The Descent of Man, 'Male snakes, though appearing so sluggish, are amorous. ' Isn't that just like Darwin? It was one of his main ideas, you know, that the males of almost all animals have stronger passions than the females. Since then we've learned a thing or two. At any rate, the female snake is right there when spring arrives in the woods.

Male, Males, Men, Passion, Snake, Spring

The wren-box problem is becoming more acute each year, for wrens now demand better housing conditions and labor-saving devices.

Acute, Bird, Demand, Wrens, Year, Years

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

Marriage, Wedding, Home, Caesar, Cleopatra

The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.

Aerates, Land, Relax, Toiling, Tunnels

The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.

Ancient, Bees, Good, Good Luck, Road

Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.

Abnormal, Assured, Modern Life, People, Rest, Young

An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?

Ant, Ants, Faster, Hot, Running

The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.

Animal, Hippopotamus, Looks, Monogamous

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

Marriage, Saw, Sense, Strong, Wife, Wives

The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.

Baboon, Baboons, Chameleon, Face, Faces, Reminded

During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.

Elephants, Enough, Home, Original, Thought, Years

The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.

Fun, Hard, Hard Work, Money, Stories, Time

I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.

Care, Course, Ideas, Novelists, Objects, Travel

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

Nothing, Say, Stork, Storks, Voiceless

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Animal, Call, Cat, Doe, Reason, Thing

Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.

Animal, Appeared, Blame, Men, Quick, Race

Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.

Different, Macedon, Man, Men, Peace, War

Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.

Galvanometers, Good, Honor, Ideas, Mistake

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Will Cuppy Biography

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