You can't polish a turd.
If we mix only a moderate minority share of turds with the raisins each year, probably no one will recognize what will ultimately become a very large collection of turds.
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.
Neferet, you're nuttier than squirrel turds.
If you don't have a mobile strategy, you're in deep turd.
When you mix raisins and turds, you've still got turds.
I live in a 9 million dollar turd.
Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd.
[On journalists:] They are as disruptive a menace to the public body: as grating turds in the intestines are to the private body.
Nobody makes a turd like that and lives.
The worst thing for a writer is to know another writer, and worse than that, to know a number of other writers. Like flies on the same turd.
I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
that's as nutty as squirrel turds
If it's not working you can't polish a turd.
Don't pole-vault over mouse turds.
When a writer is swayed with his fame and his fortune, you can float him down the river with the turds.
Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box.
You're like a turd that won't flush.
