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State and local government, with financial support from the federal government, should offer a program to educate and train foster children for employment and provide them with financial assistance, as needed, until they reach age 21.

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Yeardley Smith

Being myself didn't work. Being someone else didn't work. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends.

Being Myself, Friends, Maybe, Meant, Work
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It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.

Attention, Dad, Our Generation, Short, Watch, Watches

Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

Funny Valentines Day, Homogenized, Piece, Romance, Romantic Love, Sold

Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!.

Alcohol, Already, Chinese, Dangers, Proven, Smoking

Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican.

Dead, Humorous, Republican, Risen, Voting

Everybody sort of questioned why we get married on New Year's Day, and of course, the avid sports fans wouldn't come, because they had to watch the Rose Bowl or whatever that is on that day.

Avid, Come, Course, New Year, Sort, Sports
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