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In the end, alchemy, whether it is metallurgical or financial, fails. A base business can not be transformed into a golden business by tricks of accounting or capital structure. The man claiming to be a financial alchemist may become rich. But gullible investors rather than business achievements will usually be the source of his wealth.

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Rory Bremner

William Hague, the world's favourite hairline.

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It is almost impossible to say the name of Thai prime minister Yingluck Shinawat without adding 'give a dog a bone'

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It is a weird thing, because most people tend to get more conservative as they get older, but I find myself going the opposite way. I am sure that by the end I will be selling Marxist pamphlets on the Holloway Road.

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I used to do my Nelson Mandela voice to blag restaurant tables in Cape Town. It rarely worked. Now what a great city that is.

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In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.

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When George Bush finally leaves the White House, the satire industry will briefly join the rest of the economy in recession. It will certainly be the end of an era.

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