Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out … - Andy Borowitz

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Concentration of wealth yields concentration of political power. And concentration of political power gives rise to legislation that increases and accelerates the cycle.

Andy Borowitz

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

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You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

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Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

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A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten.

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The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

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If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them

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The club that kills can drive a stake into the ground to hold a shelter. The hands that build bombs can be used to build schools. The minds that coordinate the activities of violence can coordinate the activities of cooperation. When the activities of life are infused with reverence, they come alive with meaning and purpose.

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Terence McKenna

Our destiny is to become what we think, to have our thoughts become our bodies and our bodies become our thoughts.

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Noam Chomsky

Concentration of wealth yields concentration of political power. And concentration of political power gives rise to legislation that increases and accelerates the cycle.

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I understand pain. I've lived with pain my entire life. But pain is nothing compared to betrayal. And betrayal is nothing compared to knowing that the javelin in your back was rammed there by the one person in your life you actually trusted.

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I tend to be attracted to characters who are up against a wall with very few alternatives. And the film then becomes an examination of how they cope with very few options. And that's, I guess, what interests me in terms of human behavior.

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