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I held a jewel in my fingers And went to sleep. The day was warm, and winds were prosy; I said: "'T will keep. " I woke and chid my honest fingers,— The gem was gone; And now an amethyst remembrance Is all I own.

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Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Coming, Down, Memorable, Tasteless, Vodka
Same Author Quotes

I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

Church, Half, Lust, Thinking, Time

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Christmas, Compulsory, Funny, Like, Love, Lovely

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

Drive, Four, Humor, Intelligent, Places, Remote

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

Elephantine, Gentle, Greed, People, Time, Vanity

God writes a lot of comedy. . . the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Actors, Bad, Comedy, Encouraging, Funny, Life
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