What is impossible to God? Not that which is difficult to His power, but that which is contrary to His nature.
I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.
Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.
Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met
They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to the 90-year-old lying awake at the graveyard shift in the nursing home, groaning with dementia. The only reason he hasn't killed himself is that he hasn't figured out a way he can do it with pudding.
Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?
If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.
I think the first and principle objective is to repeal Obamacare before it does lasting, fundamental damage to our health care system, to our individual liberty, to the relationship each of us has with his or her doctor.
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
I'm reading a bunch of fiction by Afghan and Iraq War veterans for a New Yorker piece. There hasn't been that much, but it's starting to come out, and some of the fiction is really good.
There were so many things I have had to say sorry for that I wasn’t sorry about.