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It is one's own personal, selfish happiness that one seeks, earns, and derives from love.

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Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The solution is to gradually become free of societal rewards and learn how to substitute for them rewards that are under one's own powers. This is not to say that we should abandon every goal endorsed by society; rather, it means that, in addition to or instead of the goals others use to bribe us with, we develop a set of our own.