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Franchesca and Sharkey, my French bulldogs, have their own blog. And they are brilliant at it.

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Tracy Morgan

My sense of humor was a tool for me getting past my mother and father separating, my older brother having cerebral palsy, and the bullies in the schoolyard. I had to make them laugh to keep them off my ass. I brought that to my professional career.

Brother, Father, Mother, Older, Palsy
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My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

Baste, Pull, Reality, Sense Of Humor, Turkey, Turkeys

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Beautiful, Black, Butterfly, Cocoon

They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

Chair, House, Invite, Mouth, Opportunity, Thinking

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

Follow, Joy, Path, Trailblazers

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

Light, News, Speed, Travels
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