When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote … - Fran Lebowitz

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The metal of economic theory is in Marx's pages immersed in such a wealth of steaming phrases as to acquire a temperature not naturally its own.

Fran Lebowitz

When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree. When my mother explained it, I kept after her: What are you saying? What do you mean? I couldn't believe it. It was astonishing. It was like--here's the man who makes all the trees. Then I wanted to be a writer, because, I suppose, it seemed the closest thing to being God.

Believe, Book, Mother, Say, Six, Wrote

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Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

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People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush.

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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

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