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Your best investment is to pour your purse into your head, and no one can take it away from you.

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Cameron Diaz

I'm a salty, greasy girl. I give every french fry a fair chance. Could you just lay some lard in my belly?

Belly, Chance, Fair, French, Girl, Giving
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It's not talked about, but you know how girls, as you get older, your boobs sag? Well, as men get older, their balls hang lower. It's called SBH: Senior Ball Hang. I think that's God's way of making sure guys get to feel insecure too.

Girl, Insecure, Older, Senior, Think

I think that women are afraid to say they don't want children because they're going to get shunned.

Children, Say, Shunned, Thinking, Want, Women

I don't even own a TV because I think it's the devil.

Devil, Reality, Think, Thinking

I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.

Brooding, Dark, Oscars, Think, Thinking

Comparison is a brutal assault upon one's self. Once you compare yourself to someone else, what you're really saying is that what you're made of isn't good enough.

Brutal, Comparison, Enough, Good Enough, Made, Self
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