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There was an Old Man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena; She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig, To the perfect delight of Messina.

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H. L. Mencken

The saddest life is that of a political aspirant under democracy. His failure is ignominious and his success is disgraceful.

Democracy, Disgraceful, Ignominious, Life Is, Political, Under
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Funny, Heart, White, Land, Folks

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Democracies Have, Freedom, Led, Menacing, Political Will, Politics

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Men, Cynical, Doctrine, Doctrines, Preaches, Idiots

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.

Daring, Extravagantly, Lying, Success, Truth

People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?

Cheating, Consists, Expect, Honesty, Lying, Stealing
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