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Nine years after I had my own accident, I find that in trying to go back to doing those things that I used to do just doesn't fit. Everything seems to just fall apart. I don't know why but I think it is because I am this new creature.

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Daniel Handler

People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.

Already, Cake, Matter, People
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Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.

Gold, Hundreds, Mean, Steal, Traditional, Years

Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down.

Writing, Men, Tales, Down, Dead

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.

Black, Covered, Darker, Panthers, Sea

If I were to say, "Yes, I am a fascinating, erudite person," what would that say about me? I don't know.

Persons, Fascinating, Knows, Yes, Erudite

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

Ask, Hopeful, Optimism, Say, Voice
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