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Memory is the diary that chronicles things that never happened or couldn't possibly have happened.

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Gail Porter

I don't miss my pin-up days. I'm far too old for that malarkey.

Days, Malarkey, Missing, Old, Pin Up, Pins
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The more I read about feeding times, sleep times and waking-up times, the more inadequate and miserable I felt.

Sleep, Wake Up, Waking, Miserable, Read

What's so brave about being bald? I've not fought for my country or found the cure for cancer - I've just gone out without my hat on!

Country, Cancer, Brave, Gone, Bald, Hat

I don't think I'm that intelligent. I think I'm semi-intelligent.

Intelligent, Think, Thinking

Every day I do something that freaks me out.

Freak, Freaks, Day

Usually I trundle about in trainers and baggy jeans, looking about as attractive as a potato.

Jeans, Potatoes, Attractive, Usually, Baggy
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