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I'm just saying, tonight, if you're going through a breakup and you're drinking, don't call. Just don't do it. Don't call. Because here's the thing: booze has information in it!

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T. J. Miller

If I can make someone laugh, I lift them out of their fundamentally tragic existence.

Existence, Fundamentally, Laughing, Lift, Tragic
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There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy.

Acting, Comedy, Improv, Seven, Writing

If you're a psychologist, you can instrumentally change peoples' lives for the better.

Change, Ifs, Instrumentally, Lives, Psychologist

My name's Todd but I changed it in the first grade because there was another kid named Todd and I didn't understand that that was possible.

Firsts, Grade, Kid, Kids, Named, Names

Movie is an industry without job security. As soon as a job is done, you have to find a job. But I think doing different stuff makes you better at other stuff: Acting makes you better at stand-up, which makes you better at writing.

Acting, Done, Industry, Movie, Thinking, Writing

I have perfectly symmetrical ankles.

Ankles, Perfectly, Symmetrical
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