Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money
I do make a concscious effort to be genuine among other comedians. If I write something or try something that doesn't feel like me, I stop doing it.
There is no difference between alternative and traditional club comedy. People think there's a difference, but I don't think so. It's like gay men versus straight men. There's no difference. They both like sucking penises. But truth be told, I don't even believe alternative comedy is a real thing anymore. I think at this point, it's just a buzz word to make things seem cool and different and hip.
To me, success is when you can walk into Ralph's and buy anything you want. Ultimate success, however, is when Ralph can walk into you and buy anything he wants.
The reson I don't own a cell phone is I like making plans and being free and being normal, the way everyone was back in the 80's. Kill your cell phone.
What drives intellectuals and professors crazy is somebody with a high school diploma who made a fortune in business. They agree with Lenin, who thought success in business was a matter of luck, when in reality it is a matter of genius.
I just did what I did in my era, basically because of my admiration for the guys who came before me. That's how I've always looked at it. I never thought of boxing like, I'm going to be the greatest fighter ever and make a lot of money. Instead, I thought I was going to win because I learned from the best. I carefully studied the videotapes of all the fighters from the past, dissected their styles, and entered the ring with their spirit.
The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world
Robots are emotionless, so they don't get upset if their buddy is killed, they don't commit crimes of rage and revenge. But. . . they see an 80-year-old grandmother in a wheelchair the same way they see a T80 tank; they're both just a series of zeros and ones.