All my life I wanted to be a bank robber. Carry a gun and wear a mask. Now … - John Dillinger - Quotesmemo.com

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Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U. S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed in the entire Peloponnesian War. This is because turkey can contain salmonella, which are tiny bacteria that, if they get in your bloodstream, develop into full-grown salmon, which could come leaping out of your mouth during an important business presentation.

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John Dillinger

All my life I wanted to be a bank robber. Carry a gun and wear a mask. Now that it's happened I guess I'm just about the best bank robber they ever had. And I sure am happy.

Carry, Gun, Mask, Robber, Wanted, Wear

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We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow.

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You can get more with a simple prayer and a Thompson sub-machinegun than you can with a simple prayer alone.

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Never trust a woman or an automatic weapon.

Automatic, Never Trust, Never Trust A Woman, Trust, Weapons, Woman

I don't drink much and I smoke very little. I guess my only bad habit is robbing banks. Now you see, fellas, I ain't such a bad guy at heart.

Bad, Banks, Guy, Heart, Littles

My buddies wanted to be firemen, farmers or policemen, something like that. Not me, I just wanted to steal people's money!

Buddies, Fireman, Like, People, Steal, Stealing

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Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U. S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed in the entire Peloponnesian War. This is because turkey can contain salmonella, which are tiny bacteria that, if they get in your bloodstream, develop into full-grown salmon, which could come leaping out of your mouth during an important business presentation.

Agriculture, Americans, Develop, Funny Thanksgiving, Presentation, War