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I want to take as the canvas for my next picture the entire surface of France.

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Dana Carvey

I'm a friend of the CEO of Twitter and he showed me how to be on it, but it causes such an uproar if what you post is perceived in a negative light.

Causes, Ceo, Light, Negative, Showed
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If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.

Hurt, Nothing, Ran, Run, Running

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him. '

Bed, Dad, Mom, Said, Son, Spank

I have no regrets. I wanted to raise the kids and be a present father. When I developed a movie, I was gone for a year. That didn't really work for me. That isn't fair to make these life-forms and then disappear.

Disappear, Father, Gone, Kids, Regret, Work

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

Barns, Expect, Fire, Light

If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

Babe, Ifs, Lincoln, President
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