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When you write, you don't have the social constraints of having people in front of you, so you talk about abstract matters.

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Dan Jenkins

Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.

Baseball, Drivers, Games, Hit, Mouth, Would Be
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Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.

Basketball, Fascinated, Funny, June, Soaring

Juanita found herself at Old Jeemy's radio station in a room she could have sworn was a laboratory where creatures with antennas in their heads, knobs for eyes, jagged arms, and dangly legs conducted experiments on the bodies of dead vocalists.

Body, Eye, Eyes, Heads, Music, Sworn

I quickly discovered that trying to go play golf while living in Manhattan was about as easy as trying to grab a taxi while standing out in front of Saks Fifth Avenue in the freezing rain on the last shopping day before Christmas.

Christmas, Golf, Play, Rain, Saks, Taxi

Until Sammy Baugh - pro football in Texas was a one-paragraph story on the third page of the Monday sports section.

Football, Leadership, Page, Sports

Much of the fire with him [Ben Hogan] was lit by Byron Nelson, who came from the same town - the same caddie yard - and achieved fame and fortune several years ahead of Ben and who, as a kid, had always been popular and better liked than Ben. No puzzle at all.

Fire, Golf, Hogan, Kids, Popular, Town
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