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Maria Semple Biography

Maria Keogh Semple (born May 21, 1964) is an American novelist and screenwriter. She is the author of This One Is Mine (2008), Where'd You Go, Bernadette (2012), and Today Will Be Different (2016). Her television credits include Beverly Hills, 90210, Mad About You, Saturday Night Live, Arrested Development, Suddenly Susan and Ellen.

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Maria Semple Quotes

Can you believe the weather?'. . . 'Actually, I CAN believe the weather. What I can't believe is that I'm actually having a conversation about the weather.

Actually, Believe, Conversation, Weather

We were like the Beatles, Dad. ' 'I know you think that, sweetie' 'Seriously. Mom is John, you're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo. ' 'Ice Cream,' I said. 'Resentful of the past, fearful of the future. . . everytime we saw Ice Cream sitting there with her mouth open, we'd say, Poor Ice Cream, resentful of the past, fearful of the future.

Cream, Dad, Fearful, John, Mom, Thinking

Those East Coast rich kids are a different breed, on a fast track to nowhere. Your friends in Seattle are downright Canadian in their niceness. None of you has a cell phone. The girls wear hoodies and big cotton underpants and walk around with tangled hair and smiling, adorned backpacks. Do you know how absolutely exotic it is that you haven’t been corrupted by fashion and pop culture? A month ago I mentioned Ben Stiller, and do you remember how you responded? ‘Who’s that?’ I loved you all over again.

Different, Exotic, Fashion, Girl, Kids, Seattle

The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be.

Better Off, Interesting, Learn, Life, Sooner

After decades spent in rewrite rooms surrounded by other shouting writers, I discovered that I work best alone. I like being in charge of my time, working out the problems according to my own rhythms and being able to nap. That's a big one, the napping on demand!

Alone, Demand, Nap, Naps, Problems, Work Out

Maybe that’s what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.

Bigger, Care, Cliffs, Hurling, Maybe, Religion

You bet your bindi that’s how big I want it.

Bet, Big, Bigs, Bindi, Want

I'm not too good when exposed to people

Exposed, Good, People

I think thats the most important job of a novelist - to bring authority to their writing.

Job, Jobs, Think, Thinking, Writing

I can pinpoint that as the single happiest moment of my life, because I realized then that Mom would always have my back. It made me feel giant. I raced back down the concrete ramp, faster than I ever had before, so fast I should have fallen, but I didn't fall, because Mom was in the world.

Mom, Fall, Should Have, Single, Realized

Being in writers' rooms turns you feral. You are swearing, you are going to very dark, mean places. You start out in the room with all these smart people, and you're all well-read and well-educated and the humor is really erudite. And then over the course of the year, after the production schedule grinds you down, it is just so mean and stupid.

Mean, Places, Smart, Start, Stupid

I keep an elaborate calendar for my characters detailing on which dates everything happens. Im constantly revising this as I go along. It gives me the freedom to intricately plot my story, knowing it will at least hold up on a timeline.

Character, Giving, Keep, Knowing, Plot

The first stop on this crazy train is Kindergarten Junction, and nobody gets off until it pulls into Harvard Station.

Crazy, Firsts, Harvard, Junction, Kindergarten, Station

I got a huge knot in my stomach because if Antarctica could talk, it would be saying only one thing: you don't belong here. (277)

Would Be, Stomach, Knots, Huge, Belong

I love the camaraderie of a writers' room.

Camaraderie, Love, Room, Rooms, Writers

Breezy, sophisticated, hilarious, rude and aching with sweetness: LOVE, NINA might be the most charming book I've ever read.

Aching, Book, Might, Nina, Rude

Your mission statement says Galer Street is based on global "connectitude. " (You people don't just think outside the box, you think outside the dictionary!)

Based, Boxes, People, Statement, Street, Thinking

Maggie Shipstead's prose is so graceful and muscular, so dazzling, so sure-handed and fearless, that at times I had to remind myself to breathe. Astonish Me is a treasure of small surprises.

Fearless, Treasure, Surprise, Muscular, Maggie, Remind

My strength as a TV writer was my total lack of interest in television.

Interest, Strength, Television, Total, Tvs

I think because I try to keep things as real as I can, or I try to start from a place of reality, I almost don't have the imagination to write a book that's not set where I am.

Book, Keep, Real, Think, Writing

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