Jerry O'Neil Lawler (born November 29, 1949), better known as Jerry "The King" Lawler, is an American professional wrestler and color commentator signed to WWE under the company's legends program.
Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that.
When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock
Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.
You know what they say in Arkansas. . . manure happens.
What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!
Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!
I don't think it's blowing my own horn to say the show is not as good. There was chemistry there that took years and years to build and now that's gone. The commentary is lacking.
Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.
I don't know of any wrestler who hasn't, at one time or another, been with a fan. One time I met a woman at a match in Tennessee, and afterward we went to a little roadside motel. We checked in, went to the room, and enjoyed each other for an hour or so.
Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night.
I'd like to retain Trish Stratus's services.
Get that strait jacket that Heidenreich had and put it on Lita!
We just did a show in Providence, Rhode Island, and we got three puppy shots before we even got on the air, which was great. Although sometimes you get flashed by some puppies that you'd rather not see. They're more like mongrels
As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!
When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"
You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns. . . if she had two more legs.
Gyrating J. R. , pretty darn good!
Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.
Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.
Mark Henry is so strong he eats steak with a spoon.