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Ambrose Bierce Biography

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 – circa 1914) was an American short story writer, journalist, poet, and Civil War veteran.

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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

Christian, Diseases, Inferior, School, Science

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

Agitation, Eels, Mistake, Mistakes, Mud, Society

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

Among, Children, Christian, Evidence, Exist, Humorous

Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.

Animal, Greatest, Heart, Men, Provoke

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Ambition, Desire, Life, Overmastering, Reality

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

Patience, Planning, Revenge, Uncommon, Worth

As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.

Certain, Charges, Justice, Law, Logic, Powerful

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Happiness, Marriage, Wedding, Bride, Woman, Fine

PALM, n. A species of tree. . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed. . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.

Gold, Kind, Silver, Tree, Vegetable, Vegetables

REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose

Art, Artist, Equal, Skills, Valuable, Work

An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.

Army, Bravest, Cowards, Hands, Men

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

Authority, Crime, Destiny, Failure, Tyrants

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

Book, Lapse, Men, Offensive, Old, Time

Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.

Government, Genius, Bears, Certain, Romans, Governments

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

Adults, Habiliment, Males, Nether, Pants, Unworthy

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

Lying, Writing, Target, Write, Isolated, Mourners

RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

Adj, Envy, Incompetent, Rich, Subject, Trust

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

Conspicuously, Definitions, Growth, Hash, Language, Miserable

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

Atheism, Faiths, Irreligion, Principal, Religion, World

Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

Entertainment, Innocent, Military, Peace, Popular, War

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Ambrose Bierce Biography

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