You may go on reading any number of books on Meditation. They can only tell you ‘Realize the Self’. The Self cannot be found in books. You have to find it for yourself in yourself.
The typical response from people when I tell them Im diabetic is, Oh, Im sorry to hear that. You know, Im not. Im a better athlete because of diabetes rather than despite it. Im more aware of my training, my fitness and more aware of nutrition. Im more proactive about my health.