The thing is, whenever I see Hillary Clinton, I feel like I have to vote for her. She … - Lewis Black

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If you are going to leave message, you have to be able to give enough value or reason to get your voice mail returned.

Lewis Black

The thing is, whenever I see Hillary Clinton, I feel like I have to vote for her. She makes me feel guilty because I feel like I should vote for her so that she'll feel better about herself because she'd been in such a bad marriage.

Bad, Feel Better, Guilty, Hillary, Vote, Whenever

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Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem. . .

Country, Crazy, Presidents, Smart, Solid, Stupid

The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea. ' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier. '

Ideas, Make, Party, Republican, Two, Usually

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

Actually, Crazy, May, Start, Thinking

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

Coffee, Giving, Illusion, Like, Might

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

Convince, Groups, Leader, Leaders, People, Piss

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Jeffrey Gitomer

If you are going to leave message, you have to be able to give enough value or reason to get your voice mail returned.

Enough, Giving, Mail, Reason, Voice

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In lang, lang days o' simmer, When the clear and cloudless sky Refuses ae weep drap o' rain To Nature parched and dry, The genial night, wi' balmy breath, Gars verdue, spring anew, An' ilka blade o' grass Keps its ain drap o' dew.

Breath, Lang, Night, Rain, Spring, Summer