How do you know it's not true if you don't believe in it?
Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.
Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass.
I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas. . . I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!
Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping.
Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse or something like that, so that even helps people when I'm doing comedy; it's all done to make them laugh.
A lot of comics just joke around, but it's just as important to get the truth out there.
The bounds of a man's knowledge are easily concealed, if he has but prudence.
The thing is, you don't even want to be mad about someone calling you fat because who the f--- cares? Like if somebody tells me, 'Oh, you look curvier. ' That should not be a diss. The fact is, we live in a time where that is a diss. It's horrible we can be like, 'You look so skinny,' and someone's like, 'Thank you!' That's horrible. That's equally as horrible to me. So the time we live in, it's upsetting.
My main job was developing talent. I was a gardener providing water and other nourishment to our top 750 people. Of course, I had to pull out some weeds, too.
If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.