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Simply put, if you are a Wayward Victorian Girl, I'll find you.

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Julie Klausner

Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment.

Against, Consciousness, Dumb, Right, Ultimate, Wings
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My advice to women who habitually gravitate toward musicians is that they learn how to play an instrument and start making music themselves. Not only will they see that it's not that hard, but sometimes I think women just want to be the very thing they think they want to sleep with. Because if you're bright enough--no offense, Tawny Kitaen--sleeping with a musician probably won't be enough for you to feel good about yourself. Even if he writes you a song for your birthday. Don't you know that a musician who writes a song for you is like a baker you're dating making you a cake? Aim higher.

Gravitate, Music, Sleep, Song, Writing

Only sad sacks and conformists need things like no kiss on New Year's Eve to remind them to feel lonely. They're as bad as the people who need St. Patty's Day as an excuse to get drunk or Halloween to wear slutty outfits. You can feel sorry for yourself and dress like a hooker all year round: Hallmark never needs to know.

Eve, Kiss, Lonely, New Year, Sad, Sorry

Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt.

Admiration, Fear, Result, Results, Symptom

A relationship book I once read told women to use the word fun whenever possible. The author claimed it had a subliminal aphrodisiac effect on men, who want a relaxed girl attached only to good times - the human equivalent of Diet Coke. This is not me.

Book, Fun, Girl, Subliminal, Told, Women

When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.

Giving, Jokes, Think, Thinking, Way
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