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I can’t say, "I eat whatever I want when I want," but I have come up with some great treats for myself that are healthy and satisfying.

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Richard Turner

Grammar Checker – A software program that is not needed by those who know grammar and virtually useless for those who don’t.

Grammar, Program, Useless, Virtually
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I'm a woofer, not a tweeter; a writer, not a telegrapher; an essayist, not an aphorist.

Aphorist, Essayist, Essayists, Internet, Tweeter, Writer

I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam. . . . If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn the people who respond to spammers to do nothing but clean the toilets in this room.

Lives, Loss, People, Rid, Rooms, Spammers

Anytime I see someone blocking the aisle in the supermarket while talking on a phone, I want to ram that person with my shopping cart.

Anytime, Block, Phone, Phones, Shopping, Talking

Mudslinging - In politics, anything bad the opponent says about our candidate; in contrast, when our candidate does this, it is called 'making a good point.

Contrast, Doe, Good, Opponents, Point, Political

Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.

Buyers, Function, Notice, Product, Products, Purchased
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