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Anytime I see someone blocking the aisle in the supermarket while talking on a phone, I want to ram that person with my shopping cart.

Anytime, Block, Phone, Phones, Shopping, Talking

Grammar Checker – A software program that is not needed by those who know grammar and virtually useless for those who don’t.

Grammar, Program, Useless, Virtually

Self-Checkout Line The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.

Establishment, Line, Lines, Place, Self, Unpaid

Mudslinging - In politics, anything bad the opponent says about our candidate; in contrast, when our candidate does this, it is called 'making a good point.

Contrast, Doe, Good, Opponents, Point, Political

Warranty A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.

Buyers, Function, Notice, Product, Products, Purchased

I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam. . . . If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn the people who respond to spammers to do nothing but clean the toilets in this room.

Lives, Loss, People, Rid, Rooms, Spammers

Speed Limit – A sign that tells you at what speed the car that's rapidly fading from view in your rearview mirror is going; a law that provides the sole means of support for many small-town police departments.

Departments, Mean, Mirrors, Sole, View, Views

I'm a woofer, not a tweeter; a writer, not a telegrapher; an essayist, not an aphorist.

Aphorist, Essayist, Essayists, Internet, Tweeter, Writer

U.G. Krishnamurti

U.G. Krishnamurti

David McCullough

David McCullough

Danny Barker

Danny Barker

Sam Manekshaw

Sam Manekshaw

Clement Freud

Clement Freud

Leon Spinks

Leon Spinks

Henry De la Beche

Henry De la Beche

Tom Shields

Tom Shields

Janet Morris

Janet Morris

Colin Greenland

Colin Greenland

Peter Hammill

Peter Hammill

Martiros Saryan

Martiros Saryan